Top Facebook group Rant HQ had group members discussing worst pick up lines that Nigerian men has ever used, and the comments are just so hilarious. Nigerian men are known to be cunning when it comes to handling ladies, but these pick up lines are beyond cunning. Check them out and let us know your thoughts.
Okafor Uchechukwu Esther First day I saw you my slippers cut! As per say I be razor abi matchete.
Doris Esume Allow me to ENTER… I will not leave…
I later understood he meant sex.
He will sleep with me and not leave me.
Faith Jikka Guy: hello!
Guy: where are you up to?
Me: to see a friend
Guy: can we talk, I really like you.
Me: ow thanks a lot
Guy: may I have your contact so I can keep in touch.
Me: no I don’t give out my number to strangers.
Me: that’s my principles.
Guy: Okay, I like girls with principalities.
Me: Abeg shift make I faint.
Nubwa Ibrahim Bawuro When he asks, where do u work..and I say……and then he goes, wow, u r a big girl o, how much do they pay you…
Nneamaka Ada Agah You have a baby face and look so pretty.
That was a big obvious insult I’ve ever received because I was 8months pregnant with a swollen nose, cheek, mouth n legs. Very dark face n looking like Adams Oshiomole’s twin sister (abi he fine pass me then sef).
My big tummy occupied everywhere with the popcorn I was eating like someone they released from prison.
He came n abused me.
I hit my bag on him severally and threw the popcorn on him before changing seat inside that same BRT
Maybe they asked him to bring a pregnant woman for rituals and he came to flatter me thinking I’ll be happy. When I don’t look at mirrors again because of how ugly and shapeless I was.
Othuke D VillageBoy I always saw you as you always come here to buy Okpa and I know you will love Okpa but can I be the Okpa in your heart?
Oluwasayo Adebola Hey pretty, can I know you.
You look familiar, can I have your number.
I like you and I want a serious relationship.
Gorettie Leonard Do you stay alone because I want a lady that stay alone. I asked him if he is homeless because I don’t like homeless men but he can drive forward.
Vivian Goodwealth Guy: Hello
Me: stopped and looked in awe then walked away
Guy: please wait now people are looking at me
Guy: I like you, princess can I get your contact so I will call you and we could meet somewhere
Me: am I wearing a crown? Do I look like a baby that needs excursion? Walked away.
Hanson Cooler He was like, “baby just come to my house, I promise I won’t tear your nyansh” OMG, such a bush guy. Dayum🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️
Divine Favour Dominic I dodge it joor, this your beauty won’t intimidate me…I refuse to fall in love with you.
Nothing Aisha no go see for Aso Rock😎
Meg Ogwo Hey girl, I like you, I want to take care of you, you will enjoy me, I will take care of your school bills, you will do well academically if you stick with me…
Me: But you are married
Married man: Is it because I was sincere to you, I am just 31, if I didn’t tell you, you won’t know na, nne, consider me.
Me: What if your wife calls you now or when you are with your side chicks.
Married man: I will tell the side chick to suck my dick and don’t make noise while I talk to my wife.
Me: Holy Moses… Please, I want to come down, I have gotten to my hostel, thank you.
(I came down from the car, waited so he will drive and go, let me enter hostel in peace, for where Oga said I should go in first, so he can look at my backside, I kuku stubborn, couple with shyness back then)
oga please move (i know no say na mad man I meet).
Married man: ok, I will move, wait and see (instead Oga moved his car backward, leaving me with no option than to move forward so he can truly look, choi… he got to where i was, wine down his glass)
Married man: nice body statistics, I must see you again… Then he zoomed off.
Awka men are not well, Olorun.
Benard Peaceyou look so much like my mother… I will not say much about myself just say yes and forget your boyfriend…
ZyZy Angel A guy I knew from nowhere just met me and said” Nne your front side and back side orurum. I didn’t grasp the whole thing until i got home,i was so angry at my self because when he uttered the rubbish i just ignored him and passed.
HIM: Babe, anytime I see your beautiful face, I can barely catch my breath.
ME: (in my mind I will say)
Bros take am softly and hold that your breath well before e go run enter road, and they will say, I don kill person pikin.
HIM: baby I will love you to visit me(more than three different occasions, hardly knows me oo).
ME: please dear, are you in the hospital with all this visit me or u think I always jump from the bush.
HIM: I must admit, you got me hypnotized whenever I stare in ya eyes, permit me to take you home, show my people, let’s make beautiful children together
ME: hian!!!!fadalawd🙆, does it mean I carry charm for face everywhere I go.
HIM: I’m a nice guy I can’t hurt a lady talkless of a beautiful one that got my heart,
We just cook together, gist, get to know each other better.
ME: You will make a good career out of that you know, go ahead, I will be praying for you from my house.
HIM; I will love to spend time with you, what do you think? , I want to be a good husband material am targeting 60000 yards this year 😁ME: Sorry sweetie, I’m looking for a husband with 100 yards, with your kind of yard, I no fit handle you, you carry load ooo 🤭🤣, for that reason, you’re disqualified🚶♀🚶♀🚶♀
Ayomi Adewunmi Someone once told me recently that,I de like babes wey be like you and you know I go fit enter well, as if I told him I was sex-starved, I just hissed and warned him not to ever try that nonsense again.
Ekeh Nneoma Christiana Him: can I have a few minutes of your time?
Him: to talk, get to know you better.
Him: what are your life’s aspirations?
Me:🙄😑🙄Person wey no know my full name
Guy 1- baby I love you…
Haba on Facebook, I just accepted your friend request like few minutes ago? Nawa o
Guy 2- baby I want you now I need you deeply
Chim ooo you know me from somewhere? What happen to checking up and being friends first
Guy 3- mummy when will you visit me?
I was like you dey appear for TV that I will visit you?
Guys abegi make una change strategy na, you met a lady today you don dey tell her love… Your friends don dey call her wifey!!! Isn’t that suspicious? For me ehhh I go dey smile dey look una dey chop fish if na fish dey my front……. Nonsense
Uju Onuekwusi Ekweoba Chai! (Crying), I was walking back from medical centre on a hot afternoon, oga walked over me, overshadowing me with his height. I had to stop because it looked like he will fall. Then story start (oga na stammer) the only line I picked was that he loves me because I am small and handy. I have been eating beans since he told me that.
Sylvia Bethel Him: My love you will not understand the way I feel about you. Being with her doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Just tell me if you want me to leave her I will.
Me: Please just tell me you want to sleep with me and stop all the talk. I don’t have time.
Him: eeh baby all join. I don’t want you to think it’s only your body that I want.
Me: I know it’s just my body you are interested in. But I will feel more free with you and oblige you without the lies that will eventually make us hate each other. To answer your next question very carefully. Search within you and tell yourself the truth. What exactly do you want? Do you wanna have a sexual relationship with nothing attached or you truly want me to replace your girlfriend?
Him: I would really want a sexual relationship with nothing attached cos my girlfriend is a wonderful woman and I can’t hurt her and I love her and would wanna marry her. Thanks for your maturity. Your type is so rare. All these other girls will just want to be clinging instead if finding a life.
Me: Is that what you truly want?
Him: Yes baby
Me: Your village chief must be a mad man.
Blessing Steven I like you…I work with so so people my salary is 150k and I intend buying a car before the year runs down….as if he is talking to a small baby NNE don’t worry I will throw a birthday party for you. chai I don suffer make I follow him na since he is buying a car….Nonsense
Chiedozie Oma Francisca Guy.. Are you married?
Me… Not yet…
Guy… Oh, thank God I’m the lucky one…
Me… Really? Lol…… Guy… I wouldn’t mind if you will give me a chance to come into the heart and become a very close friend…
Me: we are friends already….
Guy….. I know but I want us to know ourselves better to see if it will work out for us to get married….
Me… OK, but I will think about it… Omo na Ben Johnson oooo!! Haha 😂 haha 😂 haha 😂 haha
Sarah Augustine I know you are big so you need big money to take care of you, just drop your account number I will make it bigger, like say money na love
But I still collect the money
Arabambi Oluwadamisi I prayed for a wife, I dreamt and saw Mary and her face changed to yours. And I knew that moment that you are my wife 🙄. As if you know what Mary looks like. Uncle park well
Meg Ogwo Mumu: Hello
Me: Hi, good afternoon
Mumu: You look beautiful, you have lovely eyes.
Mumu: You are sexy, I don’t mind if we could be like, you know, sex, ah ah, like get down, u know what I mean, you ain’t a kid na.
Me: (that sexy eyes of mine, start to de change to bad eyes for sun wey I stand to enter bus). Sorry, I don’t understand, be clear.
Mumu: ah ah, baby, why the face.
Me: Is like your sense is breathing from your feet, stupid animal… Young fool.