- 1 Looking for ways to Investigate a Cheating Spouse?
- 1.1 The Ethics of Suspicion
- 1.2 Call Logs
- 1.3 Keep a Diary
- 1.4 Surprise!!
- 1.5 Check Their Finance
- 1.6 Strange Online Profile
- 1.7 Check Emails, Texts, Chats
- 1.8 Watch The Friends
- 1.9 Changed Behavior
- 1.10 Look for Secrets
- 1.11 What’s That’s Smell?
- 1.12 Secretive Internet Usage
- 1.13 Suspicious Phone Habits
- 1.14 Always Working Late, Another meeting?!
- 1.15 Even a Change in Bathing Habits
Looking for ways to Investigate a Cheating Spouse?
A cheated spouse experiences great pains. Very often partners realize that a relationship lacking in trust is headed for disaster. It is bad engineering to base a relationship on deceit. Soon it crumbles and leaves the ones involved in so many pains especially when the realization hits suddenly.
Many want to know what’s really up with their spouse the moment they notice something about the relationship is off. They investigate.
How does a suspicious spouse investigate a cheating spouse?
We provide a few steps to take here.
The Ethics of Suspicion
To begin with, there is the question of whether it is right or wrong to spy on one’s spouse. In some countries it is quite unethical to surveil others using equipment hidden furtively on their person, follow them around in a way that makes them feel unsafe. Really, spouses should not creep each other out.
The most ethical thing to do is for a suspicious spouse to ask the cheating one directly. This method is not very effective though since a cheating spouse may not come clean. There are ethical means that are known to be more effective below.
The most common means of cheating is mobile phones. Of course, a cheating spouse will have to rendezvous with the person they are cheating with at a restaurant, a hotel or some out of the lodging. But to meet up they have to first make calls. So their phones harbors the first clues to discover.
A suspicious spouse can get into the call log on the mobile and check to see if there is an unusual amount of calls going out to a particular number. It should be noted that cheating spouse often stores their lovers’ number under an anonym, or a fake name. So look for that name that sounds outlandish, unusual. Some cheaters have been known to store a lovers name with the name of a known friend.
Keep a Diary
Now may be a time to start keeping a diary or a journal. Cheaters are always ready with a story, an excuse, carefully crafted to meet every inquiry. Cheaters are usually accomplished liars as well. It is unfortunate that they have to hide their infidelity by lying.
Keeping a journal where you note every reported movement and activity can check this. Note time, dates, places and people that are involved in your own record. Your journal will come in handy for comparison.
Often, liars get their facts mixed up down the road, too much contrivance muddle even the mind of a deceitful person. Your journal should set things straight. You either discover irreconcilable facts or not. One way or the other a suspicious spouse would know where they stand.
One good way to investigate a cheating spouse is to surprise them. Do something unexpected. There are a number of ways to achieve surprise.
Show up at their workplace without invitation. You have to have a good excuse though, one that does not out them on guard. A suspecting spouse can say they would be working late but show up at home early when the cheating spouse is off guard. You should be careful when using the element of surprise. Some cheating spouses have been known to become violent when cornered so it is important to make sure your spouse will not go berserk in desperation.
Check Their Finance
All instances of infidelity are funded by the cheater. Well, not all the time, as is the case if the cheater is the woman. Her lover is likely in charge of spending. Generally, a cheating husband will pay for hotels, bills like parking tickets for when he is meeting up with the lover. Check ATM withdrawals too. These easier to track if they run a joint account.
When a cheating spouse makes unusual and unexplained withdrawals on their account it may be an indication that they may be cheating. Not conclusive, yes. But worth looking into especially if there is a reason to be suspicious.
Strange Online Profile
Social media cheaters often have a dedicated profile for just that, cheating. Find if your spouse has such a profile on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or even on WhatsApp. This may require some effort on your part but you’d be surprised what you might find.
A simple way to do this is trying out a combination of the spouse’s full name, checking the shown profiles for which one might be a fake. You have to go ahead and message them at those profiles and see what response you might get. This method might take some time to yield results, but it is one of the best ways to investigate a cheating spouse.
Check Emails, Texts, Chats
As it has been said already, the mobile phone is a thick forest of clues that can lead you to the truth about your spouse’s side hustle, so to speak. Check the cheater’s emails, texts, chats and you’ll find a conversation where he is scheduling his meeting with his lover.
Watch The Friends
Friends usually know what’s going on. Better believe they constitute the board of directors in the life of a cheater, it is something psychological about the already eroded relationship. If they can get out and get a lover, then they can as well trust their friends with some of these secrets. And such secrets they are, heavy and bothersome.
You should not ask their friends directly, that would put them in a spot. You don’t want them forced in the middle of things, might be counterproductive. Find out which friend gets the most visitors, the most calls or texts. You want to check if they are your friends as well. If they aren’t you might want to check them out.
Perhaps they started cheating long before you even knew it. Long when you noticed changes in interests like the clothes they wear, general appearance. They suddenly lost weight or they gained it. They no longer share their opinions on shared projects, they became distant, cold, hostile. They stopped or the sex is no longer great but mechanical. Note changes that are increasing or decreasing.
Look for Secrets
In order to avoid detection, a cheater may have purchased a phone that is now hidden on their person. Or they may have a cache on their PC that, in extreme cases, contains videos, chats that they like to refer to again, or watch again. They may also dump those things in the trash on their PC but never empty it. On their phone, they may have secrets they deleted but are still there.
What’s That’s Smell?
You may get close to them after every time they come home from a supposed rendezvous. They may carry with them tell tales of their affair on their person; that perfume, or that peculiar smell that lingers on them after their affaire. Perfumes often cling on from a very tight hug —or rump. And of course there are male and female perfumes, you know. An unfamiliar perfume or cologne on their clothing or skin could be suspicious.
Secretive Internet Usage
Well, there’s a number of things to do with the internet. As research has shown, the factors that lead to infidelity are many. One of them includes viewing pornography. Spousal infidelity has been traced to dissatisfaction with sex, and an ensuing affair outside the marriage. Sex, however, isn’t the only reason that may cause a spouse to engage in extramarital sex.
The point is when investigating a cheating spouse it is important to be interested in what may have led them to it. If they have been watching porn, you may notice a furtiveness in the way they use the internet. They may use the internet a lot yet their browsing history may appear almost empty which means they are always deleting it.
Suspicious Phone Habits
A suspicious phone habit includes always carrying their mobile phone in their pockets. A cheating spouse would almost always have their phone on their person. Yet it will appear as though they never receive calls because it never rings out since it is on silent mode. When it does ring they take their Cal’s discreetly. If their spouse is around them they may never take the call, or when they do they put a distance between them and whoever is around and speak in muffled tones. A suspicious spouse would have to weigh the behavior carefully.
Always Working Late, Another meeting?!
The call to declare that they are working late has tripled suddenly. Or that they are attending a conference outside the state. It is a well-known cliché but truth be told, it is people’s true actions that makeup all the mountain of clichés we have, so this part of the investigation is as important.
Even a Change in Bathing Habits
Recently, the moment the spouse steps in the home, they jump into the bathroom and shower. They’d do this right before coming close to their mate, then maybe that’s it, they don’t want their mate to smell what’s on them. They don’t do this every day but frequent enough to raise suspicion.
As it’s been said already, the act of cheating by a spouse can be devastating to their mate. Investigating to find the truth is not easy. And when they do find out that their spouse is clean the relief can be overwhelming as well. Either way, it is okay to be sure by investigating. Besides all the things mentioned here, there are other methods of investigating a cheating spouse. Employing a private investigator is one, installing surveillance cameras in just about anywhere. These cameras now come in all types of shapes and sizes and are installed in ordinary things like phone chargers.
We are all for your happiness. Let us know if you intend to investigate your spouse and how you want to go about it. We might be of help to you.