Relationship Hacks

How to Write a Love Letter to a Girl for the First Time

How to Write a Love Letter to a Girl for the First Time

How to Write a Love Letter to a Girl for the First Time

Why a love letter? Why not through some other proposing medium?

Love letters were definitely prominent when warriors fighting a dangerous war and men left on trips that took them away from their wives for a very long period of time. With the advent of modern ways of communication, people argue that love letters have become obsolete, but we say love letters are still very much alive, only that the means of communication have changed.

The love letters you give your wife or girlfriend are testaments in the history of your love. They sum up a record of your relationship that she’ll hold onto for the rest of her life (unless of course, you break her heart and then the letters will give her the satisfaction of having something to burn or line the birdcage with).

Your love doesn’t have to be far away for you to write a letter to her. A love letter is appropriate even when you’re sleeping alongside your special someone every night. It’s a chance to express your feelings in a more ardent way than you do on a day-to-day basis.

A woman cannot hear too many times that she’s beautiful and that you love her. They’ll never get tired of it. They want to know that you still feel the same way as you did when you first met, heck, the same way you felt last Monday.

If you’re particularly in touch with your feelings and a great writer, then writing love letters should come easily to you. In that case, just sit down with pen and paper and let it take over.

Be aware that it’s okay to make errors when it comes to the side of cheesiness. The most crucial rule is to be completely authentic. Write only those things that you truly feel. This will prevent the letter from seeming over the top or incongruous with your personality and relationship.

Writing a love letter to a girl for the first time may seem difficult as you do not know how interesting she gets with love letters but at the same time, you want her to read your letter and feel loved and flattered, right?. Here are some pointers you should consider.

To start with…

1. Brainstorm

How to Write a Love Letter to a Girl for the First Time

Before you begin writing a love letter, you should spend some time brainstorming. This means gathering your thoughts so you can better express yourself when writing the physical letter. To start, ask yourself some questions.

Who are you writing the letter to?

Think about how you know this girl. Is she someone you admire from school who you’ve never spoken to? Is she a barista at a local coffee shop who you admire but are unsure how to approach?

What do you like about this person? As you begin thinking about the letter’s recipient, think about why you’re infatuated with her. What about her do you admire and why? Go beyond mere physical beauty. For example, if you’re writing about a lawyer you have a crush on you might admire her hairstyle and eyes. However, try to push beyond this. What is the thing about her personality that is intriguing to you? Is she always particularly polite with clients? Does she always smile at people, even if they don’t smile back?

Can you think of any particular occurrence?  That is attracted to people who notice them. If you can think of a specific moment when you realized you had feelings for this person, that would be great to include in the letter. Try to jog your memory and think of a specific moment when you began to develop romantic feelings.

Writing someone a love letter takes courage and commitment

You have to sit down and physically write out your feelings. Delivering the letter carries a risk of rejection, especially if the recipient is very much a stranger to you. Therefore, the effort you took to write the letter in and of itself may be seen as impressive by the recipient.

Remember your intention if you feel nervous or frustrated when writing the letter. You want to let this stranger know you admire her. The energy behind that intention is more important than finding the perfect words and phrases. Allow your intent to guide you as you begin to express your feelings.

Think about the past, present, and future

If you’re still struggling to think of ideas, focus on the past, present, and future. This can get your creative juices flowing. When did you meet this person? What is your relationship now? What do you hope for in the future? Some details may be inexact when writing a love letter to a stranger but you may find some inspiration considering these factors.

When did you first notice this person?

Did she sit ahead of you in algebra class and you noticed the smell of her conditioner? Did you order a latte from her when you were having a bad day and notice she drew a smiley face on the side of your cup? While your meeting may have been brief, and while she may not remember, you might have noticed something you can include in your letter.

How does this person affect you now?

While you may not have a relationship in the present, you may still gain something valuable from day-to-day interactions with this person. For example, maybe it’s nice to see her through the window as you pass by your local restaurant. Maybe it’s nice to overhear the music she’s listening to before the bell rings for class.

Finally, think of the future. Where do you want to go from here? Maybe you just wanted to express your feelings rather than bottling them up. However, maybe you’re hoping you could meet this person and the two of you could get to know each other. Think about what you want from this letter when considering the future.

State your intent

When you feel ready to write the letter, begin by stating your intent. This can be brief, as short as a single sentence. However, it’s an important sentence. You want the recipient to know this is a letter expressing some deep feelings so she’ll pay attention to its content. For example, you could say something like, “We don’t know each other, but I’m writing to tell you I’ve admired you for quite some time. We have an algebra class together in a lecture hall on campus, and I think your taste in music is amazing.”

Being expressive on how you truly feel.

2. State exactly how you feel

As you move forward in the letter, be upfront about your feelings. A love letter is not the place to be shy. Tell the girl why you admire her and what qualities about her intrigue you. Go into specifics when possible. You may not know a lot about this person, but mention small things about her that you love. For example, maybe you think the buttons she has on her purse are hilarious. Maybe you notice she listens to a particular band on her headphones that you also enjoy.

Be upfront about why you’ve never approached her in person. While many people enjoy anonymous love letters, there is always the risk of coming off the wrong way. You don’t want the recipient to feel like she’s being watched. It can help if you assure her, at some point, you’re a relatively normal person who happens to feel more comfortable expressing feelings in writing.

There are a variety of reasons you may prefer writing a love letter. You could be shy, for example, and find expressing yourself easier in words. Maybe you only see her when she’s at work and doesn’t want to bother her. Whatever your reason, make sure you state it early on. You want to make sure the recipient understands why you chose a letter over simply talking to her. This way, you can help avoid potential confusion or discomfort.

Returning to the example of the girl you know in algebra class, you may hesitate to approach her because you’re shy. You could write something like, “I always want to talk to you in person. However, I’m very shy by nature. Now that we’re halfway through the semester, I’m worried I’ll never get the courage together. So, I decided to write you a letter.”

3. Focus on whosoever is receiving this letter

Oftentimes, people end up inadvertently talking about themselves in a love letter. While you should certainly talk about your own feelings, make sure to focus primarily on the recipient. As you write the letter, express what you like about this him or her.

Use specifics when possible. If you’re writing to a relative stranger, specifics may be hard. However, small things go a long way. Do you love the coconut-like smell of her shampoo? Do you enjoy how she laughs to herself during downtime at the coffee shop? Do you remember a comment she made in class that was particularly insightful?
That’s the thing!

4. Use your own choice of words

You don’t have to write in a lofty, elevated style if it doesn’t come naturally to you. The primary purpose of a love letter is to express your feelings in a way that makes the recipient feel good about herself. The best way to do this is to simply be yourself and use your own words. This will sound more authentic and sincere when expressed in a way that feels natural to you. Do not get hung up on inserting elaborate metaphors or dramatic declarations of your admiration into your writing. Instead, focus on simply being yourself and speaking in your own voice.

5. Say how this person has affected you

As you near the end of your letter, tell the person how their presence has affected you. The girl you’re writing to may be flattered to know she made an impact on your life. Talk about how she makes your days better and why you appreciate her.

This may be something small, as you don’t know this girl yet. However, even a small impact can be flattering. For example, maybe you always look forward to your 10AM Geography sessions simply because you enjoy the contributions this girl makes to class.

Returning to our example, you could write something like, “I know it sounds silly, but getting to see you each day makes me a bit more enthusiastic about going to algebra. I’ve never been a math person, but seeing you is a small treat that makes the class more bearable.”

6. Wrapping up your Letter

Give assurance to your feelings

As you begin to conclude your letter, reaffirm your feelings briefly. Say something like, “I will continue to look forward to my morning algebra class as it gives me a chance to be close to you.” You want the recipient to know your feelings are serious and not fleeting. You can also briefly summarize what was said in the letter to help you reach your concluding thoughts.

It may take a few tries before you find the right sentence

You may want to grab a piece of scrap paper and write down a few sentences before settling on one to include in your letter.

It’s okay to be a little cheesy

Love letters are often somewhat overwrought but infatuation itself is often dramatic. Don’t be afraid to use language that sounds somewhat hyperbolic or ridiculous.

In our example, try something like, “You really do light up my mornings Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays with your spark, passion, and enthusiastic nature.”

Give her information on how to contact you

If you want this letter to lead to a possible date, provide some contact information for yourself. You can say something like, “If you’re interested, text or call the following number.” You could also include your e-mail or a link to a social media profile.

Find a way to deliver the letter

How to Write a Love Letter to a Girl for the First Time

Once you’ve finished your letter, find a way to deliver it. This can be tricky if you’re writing to someone you don’t know.

If you know the person’s name, it might be a good idea to write her name on a envelop and place the letter in there. Then, leave the envelope where she will see it. For example, if you’re writing to someone who works at a coffee shop you could leave the letter on your table or where drinks are set down.

If you have an e-mail address for the person, consider e-mailing your letter. If the two of you have a mutual friend, see if that friend can deliver the letter.

Do not try to send the letter in the mail. Getting a letter in the mail from a stranger can be scary. You do not want to come off as creepy.

Don’t worry if you’re not a very good writer. The essential ingredient in a love letter is True self-expression.


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