I am not the type to jump on trends, especially one that carries a burden or ends sorrowfully but I’d take few minutes to express my thoughts about this one. The lady who was publicly rejected by her supposed boyfriend when she proposed. You can read all about this trending story here.
Most of the debates and comments I have seen has been about whether or not it was right for her to propose, and the fact that the guy never truly loved her.
Everyone has a right to their opinion but I think this is a case of a reluctant heart; someone who is in love (or a relationship), wants to stay with that person but is scared of taking it to the next level because he/she isn’t certain of what the future holds (with the partner). People still don’t get it, there is an insightful difference between someone consistent in a relationship and someone committed to a relationship. Both are quite similar, the strong difference is while the former does everything to make the right impression in the relationship, the latter commits to doing things expressively with the purpose of getting it right.
What makes a relationship right isn’t how it starts but it is indeed how it ends. The means to that end however, is a factor of both individuals’ efforts to make each other better with an openness of heart, which the main purpose is to be together forever. In consistent relationships, either of the persons involved show zeal in the relationship which in most cases is a disguise of false emotion. They are only feeding what interests them in their partner, nurturing it like a plant, and prepared to bolt away after harvest. I once wrote that the right relationship is one where both parties’ interests align, not one in which both parties are interested in what each other can offer.
The lady in question isn’t a fool, I will bet on the fact that she is a true lover. Truth is good intentions aren’t always enough. She was naïve of his true intentions because the guy was consistent with the supply of adequate affection. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her; he loves but doesn’t need her. If not, why did he reject her marriage proposal? He was reluctheart. You can’t blame him. Nothing, especially proposal is sure until one party says yes. If things were so certain, there wouldn’t be need for such validation. Someone can love you and still reject you. It’s quite unfortunate that this was caught on camera (like beautiful proposals). Truth is there are graver heartbreaks than this because one party keeps holding back.
Haven’t you heard of long years of relationship that collapse for the cheapest reasons? What about months of engagement(s) that were eventually broken? These things happen. People say yes most times because they fear what damage rejecting that proposal will cause. This is why there are so many storms in marriages, loads of broken marriages, domestic violence, and single mothers. Let’s not fool ourselves; love is a beautiful temptation that causes mental blindness to reality. It could be a lie and be your truth, but you have to be ready for either.
I am happy for this lady because this will go a long way in preparing her for what’s to come. Relationships become calamitous when we act like everything will be okay all the time. My advice to her will be to let the guy go, she just escaped what could have been a miserable marriage. Nothing in life is promised; you either get what you worked (who you deserve) for or get lucky (someone more deserving). At the end of the day not all right relationships end in marriage.
ABOUT THE WRITER Oluwasegun Femi Fragile carries within him a world of limitless emotion which he always seeks to express with his heart as ink in his pen. Also known as The Cooking Pen; a writer cum cook. He is popular for his heart melting and life-schooling style of writing which he refers to as ‘personal’. He often states that everything about life is his source of inspiration. This author of two eBooks: The Spark in My Quiet World and Letters to God which was nominated as best fiction for the Nigerian Writers Award is also a consultant on love affairs. He is driven by his purpose to help others in their pursuit of happiness. He blogs at www.femifragile.com, a platform he uses to cure the emotional curiosity of his readers.