- 1 Are you single and searching for love?
- 1.1 1. Get rid of the “Love when you stop looking” thing
- 1.2 2. Be yourself
- 1.3 3. Partnership – not just romance
- 1.4 4. Do what makes you happy
- 1.5 5. Do not crave for someone who is obviously not yours
- 1.6 6. Are you really serious about it?
- 1.7 7. Improve your attractiveness
- 1.8 8. Meet their family, know their friends
Are you single and searching for love?
Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love, but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love. It may not necessarily be about your personality, appearance, physical attraction or chemistry. You will be surprised to discover that it is something else that attracts us to another person or the other way around.
I understand how it must have been for you as a single, everybody around you requires you to always be in your perfect excellent self at all times in order to find the love – the love that eventually runs away from you, trampling on your emotions.
Or far worse, they would expect you to become a person everyone loves to be with and talk to. But trust me, it’s one of the hardest things to do.
Most times, love finds us when we stop searching desperately and taking all sort of crazy steps that have favoured others.
Look, we are all different in a way or two. Because it worked for Mr ‘A’ is not a guarantee that it will work for Mr ‘B’. And until you begin to understand this phenomenon, chances are you will give up even at the very end of your “being single” Journey.
As a matter of fact, being a single person can actually become a fabulous, positive experience. At the same time, it can become a boring, lonely and cold-February-fourteenth experience of your lifetime.
If you are searching for a true, long-lasting and life-affirming love, there are certain things you will need to start doing – doesn’t matter the gender.
So often, we believe in the customary theory of ‘Do not look for love, let love find you’. Sadly, it has hindered a lot of singles from clinging to their Mr right or Miss right. Such theory may not work for everyone.
There are some situations that will require you to make the first leap.
In this article, I will be sharing with you some practical measures you could take as a single searching for true love. Some reputable sites will give you numerous, crazy and unpracticable steps to follow which you will definitely find puzzling, while others – like Deedeesblog – provides simple and realistic options to shutting the door of singleness and embracing the brighter side of your admirable relationship.
So, are you single and ready to get rid of loneliness? or are you about to conclude that there is certainly no right partner for you after several futile relationships?.
Well, you have just stormed into the right page for you.
Here’s the track you need to follow.
Love isn’t a fairy tale…
While others get infatuated by the romance-ful day in middle February, some happy singles would chill out on a couch, munching chocolates. But for some, Valentine’s day will have them thinking about searching for love.
Whether you believe it or not, a lot of us are really looking for a perfect partner. One who will be by our side, loving us through thick and thin and sharing wonderful moments of our lives.
They all happen in the movies, don’t they? It happens, and so, Love is not a fairy tale.
But the real question is, How do you gain this type of love in your life?
Here are things you need to do…
1. Get rid of the “Love when you stop looking” thing
I do not think this is a good strategy to start with when searching for love. You will not get what you want when you do not go for it. It doesn’t have to be all that desperately though.
The “you will find love when you stop looking” thing rarely happens. It is not enough to solely rely on this. The advice of this theory is likely to come from a family member or anyone who is very close to you – these set of people tend to see more of your behaviour clearly than you can.
Come on, If you are seeking a real relationship it is essential that you know what you want for yourself, at least to a certain extent if not totally.
Truth be told, not looking for your love is definitely the worse option you would ever consider. Mind you, your search should be in a place where you are happy and quite comfortable.
2. Be yourself
I’m pretty sure you want a partner who truly loves you as YOU and who you can possibly be with at your extreme self, not someone whom you have to pose a fake personality to before getting such true love from him or her.
Set the foundation of being the very best you. You can’t expect people to love you for who you are when you do not love and appreciate yourself first.
If you have to go beyond your comfort zone or change your natural self just to get someone to like you, there is a likelihood that the person was never harmonious with your true kind of person.
Whether you admit it or not, many of us restrain or change our original being to become appealing to the other gender. However, doing so can eventually leave you unhappy and drained.
And so, it is very important to be authentic when searching for love.
You wouldn’t want to jump from one unsuccessful relationship to the other just because you failed to reveal your real self at the very beginning, would you?
3. Partnership – not just romance
Partnership gets you through the rough times in your relationship. When searching for love, seek partnership and not romance.
In a proper sense, a relationship means that you never have to be bothered about a serious betrayal because you both are mutually working towards the same goal.
Do not look for someone who just takes you on and sweep your feet off the ground of normalcy. A relationship is far beyond romance as you will not like what will later happen if it becomes the bane of your relationship.
Instead, look for someone with whom you can work things out, even when you both don’t agree with one another. Beginning a relationship that is based on romance is an indicator of lust and not true love.
As a single searching for love, you need someone who seeks your opinion and considers it. It should be a give-and-take affair, not an uncontrolled-swing-into-romance relationship.
Love means a partnership, not ownership, appreciation, not possession – just partnership. And so, if you are seeking for true love, you’re seeking for true partnership.
4. Do what makes you happy
So you have taken every possible step in finding true love but all just seem futile. What if the bigger problem is you. What if you do not feel happy about your self and the way things seem to be.
A life coach once said, “if you are not a happy, positive, self-confident person, you cut your chances of being in the right space for the right kind of person”.
Go to places, have fun, meet new people and broaden your horizons. If you have not been exercising, go get a trainer. If you have been indoor for a long time now, go get a job. If you have not been looking so well in your appearance, go get a stylist.
And if you turn out to be a very shy person, I want you to know that you could actually become a little bolder.
Happiness is magnetic; everyone wants to be around happy people. And so, I would like that you really focus on doing things that will make you happy if you are indeed searching for true love.
5. Do not crave for someone who is obviously not yours
Life is all about time. This ‘fate’ of a thing may not be always applicable afterall. I have a belief that most true love relationships sprung forth from a wanting state. When you both fall in love, the want for each other increases exponentially.
When you really love someone, you will definitely know that you really want him or her. That crave from your soul will be written all over. It may get to a stage of seemingly obsessions or addiction. That’s the true love you are searching for; that’s the real chemistry. Not everyone is actually meant for you.
Holding to someone that is not interested in you is a waste of time and effort, move on sweetheart!. And trust me, chances are you will find a better person. Anyone you are craving for and isn’t there for you is as good as being single or even far worse than that.
6. Are you really serious about it?
Do you just want to mess around having safe sex? Or do you really want to have a serious long-term relationship?. Research has shown that both short-term and long-term relationships are similar at the beginning.
One thing you should know is that your life is like space, every single person you allow into your life has his or her own baggage. You should think of having a person with whom you can share your living space, money and time.
It is equally important to understand what is hidden before going too far in the journey of s new relationship because your partner is at his or her best behavior or character at the beginning. Later on, you get to see who they really are.
Note this: “the next time you enter a relationship, see to it that it will be with your true love already.”
7. Improve your attractiveness
Undeniably, attraction comes before any other thing at first sight and you get attracted to a person before you feel romantic, right?. Thus, be attractive.
You do not need to put on all the luxurious items and accessories to look presentable as this may even ward off responsible people away from your territory.
Start by looking and smelling clean. Point out your asset a little much better, your face or any best part of your body. It could be that glowing eyes of yours or that charming smile you give or the lovely dimples in your cheeks or the radiant blonde hair of yours that attracts people.
Like they say, if you have it; flaunt it.
Talk carefully and walk majestically. Try to look and become a cool person. Finally, in the sense of being attractive, you will meet to accept your flaws and understand that no one is perfect.
You can’t be good at everything, try to improve on your shortcomings rather than hiding them.
8. Meet their family, know their friends
If you have found the love you think you deserve from a person, do not hesitate to meet their family and friends. The only best way to know better about a person is when they are in their abode. – when they are in the circle of people who are close to them. Take note of how he or she does things with the family and be happy with them, vice versa.
One interesting thing about this practice is that you could actually foretell how your relationship with such a person will be. If such a person has a cozy and comfortable relationship with his or her family, then it could be a sign that your relationship is going to be good and well treated. But if you discover a kind of distant relationship between such person and his or her ‘compatible’ family, my dear, that should leave you with some questions to be carefully answered.