Relationship Hacks

What to Do When Condom Bursts


This has got to be the most “Boomboclat” of all Boomboclat situations in the lives of sexually active children of God.

What do you do when condom buss?

Let’s take a scenario.

You’re lashing and it’s sweet like mango. It’s entering your head. You notice it becomes a bit sweeter but you do not want to think about it too much because you’re lashing the lash of the decade. The babe sabi moan pass Moana.

You na pour your baby fluid inside as is your custom since you’re wearing CD (or so you thought).

As you were pouring, the babe suddenly tensed up as she felt the raw hotness of the liquid inside her. She immediately pushed you out and felt for your D in the darkness.

Behold it was as raw as WWE on a Monday night. She shouted “Oh God, what’s all this na?”

You suddenly realize why sweetness increased that time.

So, what do you do in a situation like this?

Hear me and hear me well:

1. You’re faced with not 1 but actually 2 problems here. The first is the danger of pregnancy. The second is the danger of STD. You have to handle both with wisdom.

2. The first thing to do is to make sure she hits the bathroom almost immediately and tries to wash out as much as she can wash out with clean water ONLY. No soaps, please.

3. Next, she should not lie down for a while. Squatting is best or sitting can do. Ask her when last she saw her period. Then calculate if she’s on her safety days or not. If she is, fine, if not, proceed, if you’re not sure, still proceed.

4. Buy her post-pills. Good ones. Not #300 pills please. Go to a good pharmacy and get good pills. Make sure she follows it religiously. One pill immediately and the other within 12 hours of the first.

5. Then get tested while you’re at it. Get a routine blood test. Most will come back negative but that doesn’t clear you. Ask for PEP drugs. They’ll probably give you something that has TNV or NVP and CTX to help with the sidekicks.

6. If you know shame will not allow you go to the hospital to do step 5 because you’re either stubborn or shy or whatever, at least send someone. Tell them you want PrEP.
They will give you. Or send your brother or your neighbour that works in a hospital.

7. If you still can’t do the above, then anytime condom buss, be prayerful. Go for midweek service. Ask God to help you avoid STDs.

8. Meanwhile, avoid that brand of condoms. Anyone still using Fiesta, it’s like you’re paying for the fruit of the womb dear.

Kiss better pass am by far.
But you see Durex and Trojan.
Na dem be condom.

Gold circle nice o, only say e dey react for some girls body.

So Durex Fetherlite, the condom of the people! Tested and **thrusted**!

But if you can’t spend more than 100 on a condom, Gold circle is your plug.
Go for Gold!

About the Writer - Harrison Emu

Harrison Emu is a graduate of Medical School from Delta State University, Nigeria.

He currently works as a Project Lead for Youth Network for Community & Sustainable Development, Nigeria (YNCSD). Harrison is passionate about young people and innovation. He is a serial entrepreneur with 3 different startups under him around the country. He has won several awards both personally and representing Nigeria - most recently at the AAIN awards in Dakar, Senegal where he was shortlisted as one of the top 15 young agro-allied youths in Africa. He currently lives in Agbor, Delta State, Nigeria. 09031232625

Harrison writes primarily to entertain. He feels good seeing different people laugh on a piece. So his work serves 3 main purposes; Education. Diversity. Entertainment.

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