You have both decided to go on a first date, after you checked out the first date ideas, Now is time to start up with the perfect first date conversation questions and topics to drive your points home.
I am sure you are excited already; it isn’t easy talking to a woman, not to mention getting her to go on a first date with you. It feels like you just won a Bet-9ja lottery, but hey, you better don’t get ahead of yourself.
As simple and easy as it may sound, starting a first date conversation can be cumbersome and clumsy, one may either be too excited and talk about what is not relevant or may just be fidgety, and nervous and this will be a major detriment to what you intend to achieve by putting up a first date.
First date conversations are meant to allow you both get an opportunity to find yourselves within the dating space and also check your level of compatibility.
Hey, do not get ahead of yourself though, dating does not mean you are in a relationship with the other party in question, it simply means you are still checking each other out! You have to see this to be able to pull off a great first date.
I know you like her and you are smart enough to not want to blow a first date, but you will if you don’t make good conversation with her. Don’t fret too much bro, this post is just for you.
While trying to adjust to your new date and get to know her, there are questions that you need to ask on your first date, and there are questions that are ‘No-Go’ areas for you.
Some of the questions to ask may seem too silly and brash while some may be too serious and formal. What is important is that it sets you on the path of discovery. It helps you determining whether your date is someone that you can start a relationship with or just that person you meet with, every other day!
I have had the opportunity to sit across first daters in a restaurant and I never fail to notice the uneasiness and clumsiness that sometimes comes with meeting your date on a first!
They usually have this air around them, sitting very formally, the babe seem a little shy, their eyes dart around trying to get busy so as to reduce the tension and maybe uneasiness between them. The babe usually awkward and the guy being tongue-tied!
Have you noticed this before?
The first date conversation usually starts with:
How do you see the place?
Have you been here before?
Do you enjoy the food?
The babe responds heartily and then there will be clumsy silence!
Has this happened to you before or you are the experts at starting first date conversation yet it did not materialize into a relationship.
Well, maybe you are just not asking the right questions
Maybe your questions are completely boring
See! I know you keep beating yourself up for not taking control of your first date conversation, but hey, this is expected. You can’t just expect the first date to go on well as you might have dreamed. The basic thing you need to know about first date is that it is expected to be the most relaxing conversation, and this can be helped with good choices of first date conversation questions to kick start a lovely togetherness but before we get ahead of ourselves, let us check out some basic principles of a first date conversation.
. Scratch the surface to go deep
Getting to know someone should be a slow process. A lot of Nigerian guys have issues with being slow and steady, you can’t skip things, if you do you’ll end up at square one…..back to countless first dates that don’t go well, you can’t eat your cake and have it!!!
Should this be so?
Don’t be too eager to ask all the deep and probing questions. The last thing you may want to do on your first date conversation is to get your date on the defensive. Hell No! Don’t go there!!
Let the relationship evolve and then you can take your questions a step further. Take it easy on her, Asking deep and probing questions may get her uncomfortable.
This is very key. You may be very skilled at striking up conversation, but as the guy, you need to do more listening than talking.
You know one thing?
The ability to start first date conversation flawlessly is very good, however starting is not just everything, it is just the first part of a relationship chase, the second part is listening. As much as you can talk, you should also listen, don’t blab away! You may end up being a huge turn off.
. Be genuinely interested in her
How do you achieve this?
Pay close attention to her body language, especially what he/ she says. While your first date conversation questions are important to discover whether your date is your soul mate or not, Follow up questions on your first date conversation gives an idea of genuine interest. You may decide to follow up on her work, why she enjoys it, and what she would give up for her job. This and some other first date follow up questions show a genuine interest in your date.
First date conversation questions you should ask on your first date
1 What do you think about this place?
This is usually the first question you should ask to get an opinion of the place or location chosen for the first date. Getting her objective opinion is an attempt to get her to warm up to you and whatever conversation you would bring up in the process of the date.
Also, her feedback will also give you a fair knowledge of how she reviews certain things and places, a discovery that gives you an edge already.
2 What do you do for fun?
Getting to know about her hobbies will give you that fair idea of what she likes and dislikes. This type of question will allow you to confirm whether you both share similar hobbies or not. Or maybe she is flexible to try out new and discover new things.
Either ways, you will expect to see her light up to this type of conversation because whenever people talk about what they love to do, they are usually happy and more comfortable talking about it.
When you see the light in her eyes, you can deduce their level of happiness to certain things and issues.
3 What was your first impression of me
A shy girl may find it hard to answer this question, but this is a perfect first date conversation question to get her to talk about you without sounding to corny.
We all have first date impression, don’t we? So try to get this out of her so as to know what kind of person your first date sees you as.
4 What do you do?
Now you are asking your date about his/ her job. Here you need to pay attention to what she talks about. You also need to check out her body language. She may not be interested in talking about her job. So don’t fret it! If she is interested, you can further ask probing question to indicate genuine interest, but tread carefully so that you don’t seem nosy, Ladies like when you show genuine interest, remember!!
5 Ask about her family
You need to be careful here as well. Some girls did not have a lot of fun growing up, and may not want to talk about their families. This type of first date question may not seem ideal to you but to her it shows that you are interested in knowing her beyond the one time Barbie you are meeting for the first time.
6 Ask her about her favourite movie of all time
This will allow you confirm if she loves the movies or not. Point is she will love it, as a lot of ladies are beginning to fall in love with going to the cinema nowadays. You can also get her to talk about her last movie and how much she enjoyed it (or not)
This will also give you an idea of your next date visit, if it ever happens.
7 What are the things that make you laugh?
This is an attempt to get her to be humorous and you also get to make her laugh. You can then play with making her laugh by telling her funny stories of you and asking further humorous questions. Trust me, making your date laugh is one of the best ways to leave her with a lasting impression of you.
8 Ask her about her next birthday
This is better than asking her about her age as some first dates may not find asking about their age a comfortable question to ask. At least it shows that you are pretty interested in knowing birth dates and you may follow up with a gift on her birthday if the date goes well.
9 What is the most romantic thing you have ever done for someone?
While trying to not put pressure on yourself by asking What the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you, getting to know her romance level will reduce your expectations on romantic things you can do for her. You need to take mental notes of what she is saying at this point. A lot of ladies love romance, show this, it can serve as your guide to playing the best romance partner!
10 What is your biggest goal in life?
This will allow you know if she has a dream to be something bigger or just comfortable within her own space. This will inform you of whether she is ambitious or not, this is a very sensitive question and should be approached with care ,but asking her will definitely help you confirm whether you both are compatible or not.
See the eye opener in this question?
11 How long was your longest relationship
This will allow you avoid the why are you single question and bring you to terms with whether she is your favourite long term relationship babe or just a fling kind of girl. It also plays into what you are on the lookout for. Are you interested in your date for the meantime or you want something longer, deeper, and committed!
12 Do you want to be famous?
This will help you confirm whether she is an attention seeker, likes to bask in the limelight or she is just some beauty who just wants her own space and is not interested in being the centre of attention. Here, you will be able to confirm if this plays with your ideals as a potential girlfriend
Do not ASK THESE first date conversation QUESTIONS
1 How much do you earn at your work place?
Oga, Are you a gold digger?
Asking this question ruins your date completely. Don’t be dumb!
2 Do not ask her if she has cheated before
On a first date? Haba!! This should be a no-go area for you. You need to make her comfortable with you, and that sort of question does not in anyway make her relaxed. You may want to be eager to know a lot, but Hellurr, careful with your type of question!
Nobody is perfect I know, but this is not the perfect time to ask such question.
Be guided Mate.
3 Why are you single
Hmmmn!! I would have added this to my list of First date conversation questions, but after talking to some of my friends, and getting feedback that asking this questions makes them uncomfortable. I’d rather not add it then.
Do not ask her these question on a first date. Questions like this are suitable on second or subsequent date but just not on a first date. She might have passed through situations of emotional and physical abuse and you would just not want to be the one to bring up those memories.
Bro, be careful with it!
4 Why are you fat/ thin?
Never do that on a first date! Why would you?
Are you in for the physical or for what she has stored inside her! You say that to a lady on a first date, she might see you as being chauvinistic. Forget about her appearance, (not that you shouldn’t compliment her on her appearance though) but do not ever ask this question on a first date.
5 Do I look good?
It is so funny I have had cases of guys asking ladies this question on a first date. Do all you can to look good, leave the assessment to the girl, you don’t need to ask her about how you look. Do you?
6 Do you know how much I am worth?
Do not brag. This is a complete turn off question for me or anyone worth their salts for that matter
Simple! Asking this kind of question will make a lady think the first date is just for you to show off. Be careful with this question or else you may lose a great lady forever.
7 Where do you think I am going with this?
Leave Matter for Matthias Chief, Let her decide that with your appearance and questions. This is not a question you should be asking her, okay?
Do no ever ask this question as part of your first date conversation.
8 Do you do a sex count?
Questions like how many boys have you slept with is so wrong.
Wait! You are shocked someone will ask that question on a first date? But they do ask it!
Now that you know be very careful and sensitive, don’t you ever ask such questions. What is you business with her numbers? You want to help her count?
Oh, you want to be sure who you are investing your time and money in, right? Or you are in to add to her body counts already! Don’t spoil the date.
9 Can you please pick up the tab?
It’s a pretty lame question but trust me, Nigerian guys do ask these questions on a first date.
If I were to sit beside you when you asked such a question? Bros, I will stand and slap your big mouth, shut your trap!!!.
Don’t try it!
10 Do you eat much or just little?
See Mr Chairman trying to assess his expenses, or don’t you think that is what is you are trying to do?
You called for the date, be ready to cater for the bills. This is not a question to ask, okay? It is a complete turn off!
Or you want to watch her weight for her? Oh maybe you want to judge her by the amount of food she eats? This is just not a good question to ask on a first date.
What’s your business?
11 What happened between you and your last
Don’t ever bring it up! Hell No!
What is your business with her past, on a first date? Do not bring up a girl’s past baggage on a first date! Okay?
12 How often do you go on dates
Oga, what’s your own?
Do your date and move on! If she likes you, Fine. If she doesn’t as you have made her dislike you with your questions. Move on!
Remember to be playful and make her laugh a lot. Studies have shown that ladies warm up more to guys who are very humorous and make ladies liven up to conversations.
Now that you know more about first date conversation questions to ask your date, do you think there are more first date conversation questions to ask? Drop your comments and let us learn together!