Why Nigerians are really interested in Sugar Mommies: If you live in Nigeria and you are up to date with current events, especially for four years now,you’d agree that things have gone down south for most country people’s finances. The economy is not doing so great, jobs are scarcer and the hunger for young people to achieve their dreams has never seen more impetus.
The opportunities to make a living in the country have expanded as a result of the availability of the internet. Recently, more and more social websites are providing a platform for men to hook up with women in need of sexual or romantic companionship. These women are called sugar mommies, a relatively new breed of independent women, who are rich and have no scruples about being with younger men.
But what is the motivation for Nigerians who go for sugar mummies?
Here we consider a few reasons for the interest.
For most Nigerians, money is motivation. Women in these romantic arrangements are rich, highly placed and can afford to fork out huge amounts of money to men. They give gifts lavishly. Many Nigerians just need support financially to be able to start a business, pay through school and get an education, help needy family members or just be able to fund their desire to travel out of the country.
When speaking in an interview with a Nigerian young man who was seeing a sugar mommy. According to him, he had registered on a dating site, indicated interest in meeting a sugar mummy, hoping for the whole thing to be just some scam. Although he went on with the arrangements, he confessed that his curiosity had pushed him, nothing else.
Many Nigerians who are dating sugar mommies have their first contact following a curious inquiry.
The internet and marketing advertisement is all overwhelming tools that put most young people under undue pressure to conform. Young men and women are subtly being pressured into looking or thinking a certain way. Morals are now according to individual perception.
Some Nigerians view dating a sugar mommy as just another way to express themselves, sexually. A good looking guy, who possesses the type of physique that the media says is sexually appealing could want to experiment with providing casual sexual pleasure to women, sugar mommies. And the benefits that follow are only icing on the cake.
Some simply succumb to pressure from their peers who are already into relationships with sugar mummies. The fascination with sugar mommies is enough to make some people join the fray, however, they may still be considering the moral of such a relationship. But when they discover that their close friends are into it and those have all the money and things to show for their adventure with the rich women, the pressure spills over. Next thing they are jumping on the bandwagon.
The cycle is expected to become vicious as the economy becomes worse.
One of the attributes of the arrangements of having a sugar mommy is that you are required to keep it confidential. This is usually the case since most who go into it, men, for instance, are often in a different relationship that they continue to keep while dating older women for money. Keeping it secret, they enjoy the best of both worlds, so to speak.
Some sugar mommies have spouses too. But they seem to enjoy sex from younger boys, or they love to augment what sexual pleasure they get from their mates with the one from other men. Some of them are specific however, they enjoy the virility young men and the vigor of their manhood. Both want great sex, and they love the excitement that secrecy furnishes.
Young Nigerians who don’t care much about their reputation also do not give a hoot about secrecy. They do not mind being seen with an older woman at a club or somewhere else in public. Especially when the woman involved is a divorcee, a widow with a lot of money or simply a single woman who doesn’t want to be tied down to a man in matrimony. If the sugar mommy is one who – though not necessarily famous – loves the high Life of celebrities and likes to party and go out with a younger man, then some men don’t mind as well. They love the attention. They’d like to brag about how they can get expensive vacations with a sugar mommy.
More and more young Nigerians are becoming disillusioned by expectations in romantic relationships. Heartbreak is one major push into free-loving or friendships without emotional attachment, just sex and nothing more, which is what having a sugar mommy is. They are in it not for love, but sex. It is a business deal, a mere contract without the encumbrance of mushy feelings.
Most who have been through several breakups —especially men, are often quick to conclude that there is no true love to be found. Hence, they resort to sex without attachment, sex with pay. And one of the best ways to get that is having a sugar mommy.
And finally, most Nigerians are interested in sugar mommies because of sex. This is getting down to brass tacks, every other reason mentioned above do not draw people to sugar mommy. It is sex. It is said that some the sugar mommies demand great sex and that they like men who can improvise ways to please them can go on having sex for long hours too. Reports show that these women include fees for sexual enhancers to replenish lost strength for the men they have sex with.
We are living in an unprecedented time in human history, cultures are experiencing shifts, morals are plummeting and more alternative lifestyles are being advocated. The pressure to conform to the media is stronger now than ever. When we add a crippling economy in the mix, what we have is escalating decadence. But isn’t the world also losing labels?
Of course, to each man to his own.
One of the fundamental tenets of evolution – men being attracted to younger women because they are fertile and women being drawn to older, higher-status males who are in a better position to provide for offspring – is slowly being eroded.
Instead, says social psychologist Alice Eagly, professor at Northwestern University, Illinois, the profound changes in our social roles are in turn twisting our sexual interactions.
Gone are the days when middle-aged women would adopt skirts of a sensible length, allow grey hair to creep in or take a back seat in public life.
Today, they’re still working in powerful positions, are financially independent, are adept at holding back the ravages of time — and are often newly single, thanks to divorce.
Meanwhile, attractive younger males, who are more likely to fit in with their super-successful female partner’s schedule than an equal player with his established work patterns and responsibilities, will be more sought after in the middle-aged dating marketplace.
Indeed, the very fact that middle-aged women are more likely to have a high status can drive them to seek out younger partners.
According to dating coach and behavioral psychologist Jo Hemmings, living in a youth-driven world puts new pressures on women.
There’s a constant need to reinvent themselves, to ensure they’re being current and still relevant.
Emotional stability and maturity
These older women are known to have more experience in life, which is of course very true. Though they say age is only a number but this is not always true. With age comes experience, with experience comes maturity.
Of course, the issue of “Will I want children later on?” has become a less significant challenge to a relationship between older women and younger men than it has been in the past. In-vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for “miracles” is now a medical possibility.
Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.
The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded. But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was better.
Beauty standard is lowered
Older women are not thinking about beauty per se. Younger women worry about that. This worry about beauty is a distraction for some boys who find it appealing to be with a woman who doesn’t care so much about it. Young boys may find it appealing.
Besides women also described feeling less preoccupied with rigid beauty standards that may have been restrictive earlier on in their lives. Some women described feeling more comfortable with their bodies now than they might have been when they were younger.